チルノのパーフェクトさんすう教室 ⑨周年バージョン || Cirno’s Perfect Math Class, ⑨th Anniversary Version

io-0311_jacket_2500pxチルノのパーフェクトさんすう教室 ⑨周年バージョン
chiruno no paafekuto sansuu kyoushitsu kyuu-shuunen baajon
Cirno’s Perfect Math Class, ⑨th Anniversary Version

Vocals: Members of IOSYS, 幽閉サテライト, A-One, 豚乙女, COOL&CREATE, TaNaBaTa, Alternative ending
[Credited as IOSYS and their merry band of ⑨th anniversary friends (IOSYSと愉快な⑨周年フレンズ)]
Lyrics: Yuuno Yoshimi (夕野ヨシミ)
Arranged by: ARM
Album: Touhou Ice and Snow, Deep Gratitude (東方氷雪大感謝)【Official Site】
Circle: IOSYS
Event: Autumn Reitaisai 4 [ARTS4]
Original Theme: Tomboyish Girl in Love [おてんば恋娘]

Requested by: xeromic

Update (October 8, 2017): Added album information and credits from official site. Also, ‘Maths’ was changed to ‘Math’ for consistency with the album art.

Watch the official video here.

Seeing that this famous video has turned 9 makes me feel really old. Where were you 9 years ago? Coincidentally, I was in year 9…

According to the official site, this album was created with thanks and gratitude in mind, presumably aimed at the listeners who have made “Cirno’s Perfect Math Class” so popular over the years. The album’s title is a callback to the original album this song appeared in: 東方氷雪歌集.


「みんな~!チルノのさんすう教室、⑨周年だよ~!アタイ大学⑨年生!天才を、極めたよ~!」

“minna! chiruno no sansuu kyoushitsu, kyuu-shuunen dayo! atai daigaku kyuu-nensei! tensai wo, kiwameta yo!”

“Hey everyone! It’s the ⑨th anniversary of Cirno’s Math Class! I’m in my 9th year of university now! I’ve taken my genius to the next level…!”

「留年じゃねーか?」

“ryuunen janee ka?”

“Haven’t you just repeated the same class?”

ギリギリ 綱渡りで
ドキドキ 一か八かで
単位と卒論 なんとかして卒業
出席日数 ちょっとたりない GO GO!!

giri giri tsunawatari de
doki doki ichi ka bachi ka de
tan’i to sotsuron nantoka shite sotsugyou
shusseki nissuu chotto tarinai GO GO!!

It’s so close! Just like tightrope walking.
Thump-thump! The stakes are high.
Through credit and a thesis, I’ll graduate somehow
But my attendance isn’t quite high enough. Go, go!!

バーカバーカ バーカバーカ バーカバーカ
「口を開けばバカバカってうるさいわね!」
バーカバーカ バーカバーカ バーカバーカ
「そーゆうのを『バカの一つ覚え』っていうのよ!」
バーカバーカ バーカバーカ バーカバーカ
「何よもう!バーカ!バーカ!」
バーカバーカ バーカバーカ

baaka baaka baaka baaka baaka baaka
“kuchi wo hirakeba baka baka tte urusai wa ne!”
baaka baaka baaka baaka baaka baaka
“soo yuu no wo ‘baka no hitotsu oboe’ tte iu no yo!”
baaka baaka baaka baaka baaka baaka
“nani yo mou! baaka! baaka!”
baaka baaka baaka baaka

Idiot, idiot! Idiot, idiot! Idiot, idiot!
“You just open your mouths to call me an idiot. How annoying!”
Idiot, idiot! Idiot, idiot! Idiot, idiot!
“They say ‘he that knows little often repeats it,’ you know!” (1)
Idiot, idiot! Idiot, idiot! Idiot, idiot!
“What the hell?! Idiot! Idiot!”
Idiot, idiot! Idiot, idiot!

紅魔館から 月ロケットが
秒速⑨万キロで飛び立った
白玉楼で 二人降りて
半人乗る暇もない
八雲さんちが 対抗意識
迎撃用のミサイルブッぱったー!

koumakan kara tsuki roketto ga
byousoku kyuuman kiro de tobitatta
hakugyokurou de futari orite
han’jin noru hima mo nai
yakumo-san-chi ga taikou ishiki
geigeki-you no misairu buppattaa!

A moon rocket flew from the Scarlet Devil Mansion
At a speed of 90,000 km/s.
Two people got off at Hakugyokurou.
There was hardly time for half-humans to ride.
That Yakumo lot are so competitive—
They fired off an interceptor missile!

助けて助けて えーりんえーりん
ムリムリ咲夜にブン投げ!
時間操作で トゥルーエンド

tasukete tasukete eerin eerin
muri muri sakuya ni bun’nage
jikan sousa de turuu endo

Help me, help me! Eirin, Eirin! (2)
It’s no use! Sakuya, throw something!
Time manipulation causes the true end.

山落ち 意味など無いさ
全ては 心の中
幻想郷の中心で
「1・2・⑨!」

yamaochi imi nado nai sa
subete wa kokoro no naka
gensoukyou no chuushin de
“ichi. ni. kyuu!”

No peak, no climax, no meaning. (3)
Everything lies within one’s heart.
In the heart of Gensokyo…
“1, 2, ⑨!”

くるくる 宇宙の闇
ぐるぐる 地球回る
そうよ つぶら目玉 ふたつとも狙うの
きゅっとしてきゅっとして どっかんかーん

kuru kuru uchuu no yami
guru guru chikyuu mawaru
sou yo tsubura medama futatsu to mo nerau no
kyutto shite kyutto shite dokkan kaan

Whirling around in the darkness of space,
Round and round, the world turns.
That’s right—I’ll aim at a pair of round eyeballs.
I’ll squeeze them and squeeze them, and then *crash*

次々 問題でる
まだまだ 追試続く
凍る 部屋の中
ひんやりした温度も時間も気にせず
「ゆっくりしていってね!」

tsugi tsugi mondai deru
mada mada tsuishi tsudzuku
kooru heya no naka
hin’yari shita ondo mo jikan mo ki ni sezu
“yukkuri shite itte ne!”

The questions come one after another.
There are still more exams!
Inside this frozen room,
Don’t worry about the cold or the time:
“Take it easy!” (4)

バーカバーカ バーカバーカ バーカバーカ
「カバディカバディカバディカバディ!」
バーカバーカ バーカバーカ バーカバーカ
「バカディバカディバカディバカディ!」
バーカバーカ バーカバーカ バーカバーカ
「もうみんな爆発しちゃえばいいのよ!」
バーカバーカ バーカバーカ

baaka baaka baaka baaka baaka baaka
“kabadi kabadi kabadi kabadi!”
baaka baaka baaka baaka baaka baaka
“bakadi bakadi bakadi bakadi!”
baaka baaka baaka baaka baaka baaka
“mou minna bakuhatsu shichaeba ii no yo!”
baaka baaka baaka baaka

Idiot, idiot! Idiot, idiot! Idiot, idiot!
“Kabaddi, kabaddi, kabaddi, kabaddi!” (5)
Idiot, idiot! Idiot, idiot! Idiot, idiot!
“Bakaddi, bakaddi, bakaddi, bakaddi!”
Idiot, idiot! Idiot, idiot! Idiot, idiot!
“I should just go and blow everyone up already!”
Idiot, idiot! Idiot, idiot!


(1) By using this proverb, Cirno implies that her tormentors are dumber than her because they say the same thing over and over.
(2) This refers to the CCOL&CREATE song ‘Help me, ERINNNNNN!!’
(3) The Japanese lyrics are a contracted form of 山もない落ちもない意味もない (yama mo nai ochi mo nai imi mo nai). This is where the word ‘yaoi’ stems from (yama, ochi, imi)
(4) This is a reference to the ‘yukkuri’ meme, which involves Touhou characters depicted as giant heads. The phrase can also be translated as “do it slowly.”
(5) Kabaddi is a form of contact sport originating in India. Chanting “kabaddi” is an important part of the game. ‘Bakkadi’ is a corrupted form of the title that also fits in バカ (baka – idiot).

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Zip Your Mouth!

io-0240Zip Your Mouth!

Vocals: Ranko
Lyrics: 96
Arranged by: void
Album: ROCKIN’ON TOUHOU VOL.1 【Official Site】
Circle: IOSYS
Event: C83
Original Themes: –Love-colored Master Spark [恋色マスタースパーク]
-Oriental Dark Flight
[オリエンタルダークフライト]

Requested by: bagong016

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

聞こえてくる 遠くから
うすら寒いヤツらの声
仲間にはなれないね 何を言われても

kikoete kuru tooku kara
usura samui yatsura no koe
nakama ni wa narenai ne nani wo iwaretemo

I could hear their thin, cold voices
Coming this way from far away.
I guess we can’t be friends, no matter what is said to me.

僕は進むよ悪いけど!!

boku wa susumu yo warui kedo!!

Sorry, but I’m gonna move on!

Zip your mouth! You drives me nuts
Stay away from me!!
いつも くだらない言葉を垂れ流してる
目に浮かぶ そのムカつく表情 I know it sucks
心から Hate you!
I don’t wanna see your face **** off!!

Zip your mouth! You drives me nuts
Stay away from me!!
itsumo kudaranai kotoba wo tarenagashiteru
me ni ukabu sono mukatsuku hyoujou I know it sucks
kokoro kara Hate you!
I don’t wanna see your face **** off!!

Zip your mouth! You drive me nuts!
Stay away from me!
You always spit out such useless words.
I remember what your face looks like when you’re irritated. I know it sucks.
From the bottom of my heart, I hate you!
I don’t wanna see your face! **** off!

視界の中 入り込む
狭い世界で叫ぶヤツら
飽きもせず馴れ合って 一体その先…

shikai no naka hairikomu
semai sekai de sakebu yatsura
aki mo sezu nareatte ittai sono saki…

You come into my field of view –
You’re all screaming in my small world.
We got along well, without getting tired. But after that…

何があるのか教えてよ!!

nani ga aru no ka oshiete yo!!

If something’s wrong, tell me!

Zip your mouth! You drives me nuts
Stay away from me!!
いつも くだらない言葉を垂れ流してる
目に浮かぶ そのムカつく表情 I know it sucks
心から No way!
You look like a fool to me!!

Zip your mouth! You drives me nuts
Stay away from me!!
itsumo kudaranai kotoba wo tarenagashiteru
me ni ukabu sono mukatsuku hyoujou I know it sucks
kokoro kara No way!
You look like a fool to me!!

Zip your mouth! You drive me nuts!
Stay away from me!
You always spit out such useless words.
I remember what your face looks like when you’re irritated. I know it sucks.
From the bottom of my heart… No way!
You look like a fool to me!

痛い関係 自覚ないまま群れになってさぁ
成長しない傷の舐め合い 虫唾が走る!!

itai kankei jikaku nai mama mure ni natte saa
seichou shinai kizu no nameai mushizu ga hashiru!!

Without paying attention to our painful relations, we form herds.
Without growing, we lick our wounds. How disgusting!

Let you know

I’ll let you know.

Zip your mouth! 歪んだ口から
今日も借りてきたセリフを垂れ流してる
白々しい仲間しごっこと
いつも安いポリシー 全てが軽薄だね

Zip your mouth! yuganda kuchi kara
kyou mo karite kita serifu wo tarenagashiteru
shirajirashii nakayoshi gokko to
itsumo yasui porishii subete ga keihaku da ne

Zip your mouth! Borrowed words flow
From your crooked mouth today, too.
We play barefaced games at being friends…
Such cheap policies are always superficial.

Zip your mouth! You drives me nuts
Stay away from me!!

Zip your mouth! You drive me nuts.
Stay away from me!

The way you act What a bore!
Don’t like your style Is all just a disguise

The way you act is so boring!
I don’t like your style. It’s all just a disguise.

You know what? Give me a break
I’m sick and tired of your words

You know what? Give me a break.
I’m sick and tired of your words!

Zip your mouth! You drives me nuts
Stay away from me!!

Zip your mouth! You drive me nuts.
Stay away from me!

The way you act What a bore!
Don’t like your style Is all just a disguise

The way you act is so boring!
I don’t like your style. It’s all just a disguise.

You know what? Give me a break
Says who? Get real! Get real!!

You know what? Give me a break.
Says who? Get real! Get real!

the world is yours

the world is yours

Vocals: 96
Lyrics: 96
Arranged by: void
Album: UROBOROS 4  【Official Site】
Circle: IOSYS
Event: C88
Original Theme: Wind God Girl [風神少女]

Requested by: Nii Chii

A motivating song about how love can change people for the better. It’s just so… positive!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

綺麗な言葉だけを集めて
眩しい理想を語る日々は過ぎて
あの頃みたいにはいかないな
気づけば言い訳ばかりしては逃げて

kirei na kotoba dake wo atsumete
mabushii risou wo kataru hibi wa sugite
ano koro mitai ni wa ikanai na
kidzukeba iiwake bakari shite wa nigete

I only ever gathered together kind words
And with them, I spent my days speaking of a radiant, ideal world.
I can’t live like I did in those days!
I realised that I was just making excuses and running away…

そう、きっと 躓くけれど
さあ、一歩 踏み出すことが( 何よりも)
大事なんだ

sou, kitto tsumazuku keredo
saa, ippou fumidasu koto ga (nani yori mo)
daiji nan da

That’s right, even if you stumble,
Taking that first step, more than anything else,
Is important!

世界は君の物 フォーカスを合わせたら
虚構も真実も 何もかも閉じ込め
風を( もっと) 切って( 速く) 駆け抜けよう
光射す場所 見えてくるさ

sekai wa kimi no mono fookasu wo awasetara
kyokou mo shinjitsu mo nani mo kamo tojikome
kaze wo (motto) kitte (hayaku) kakenukeyou
hikari sasu basho miete kuru sa

The world is yours! When my focus lines up,
I’ll keep everything, fiction and reality, on file!
I’ll cut through the wind, even faster, and race through!
I can see that shining place coming into view…

見慣れた景色だけを並べて
優しく退屈な毎日が過ぎて
このまま、なんて良いわけないな
風向き変えたいなら今すぐ行こう

minareta keshiki dake wo narabete
yasashiku taikutsu na mainichi ga sugite
kono mama, nante ii wake nai na
kaze muki kaetai nara ima sugu ikou

I just looked at the scenery I was used to seeing,
And thus spent those gentle, boring days.
I can’t go on like this!
If I want to change the wind’s direction, then I’ll set off right away!

ねえ、ずっと 焦がれてるなら
ほら、もっと 手を伸ばすんだ( 誰よりも)
掴めるまで

nee, zutto kogareteru nara
hora, motto te wo nobasu nda (dare yori mo)
tsukameru made

Hey, if you’ve always loved me,
Then come! Stretch your hand out (further than anyone else)
Until you grab hold of me.

このまま終われない わかってるはずだから
ファインダー覗き込み 瞬間を切り取れ
風が( きっと) 揺れて( 少し) 立ち止まっても
迷うことなら無駄じゃないさ

kono mama owarenai wakatteru hazu dakara
faindaa nozokikomi shunkan wo kiritore
kaze ga (kitto) yurete (sukoshi) tachidomattemo
mayou koto nara muda ja nai sa

I can’t let it end like this! I must have known that,
So I peeped through my finder and whittled away the moments.
The wind will surely blow, even if it stops for a little while,
So isn’t it useless to hesitate?

世界は君の物 フォーカスを合わせたら
虚構も真実も 何もかも閉じ込め
風を( もっと) 切って( 速く) 駆け抜けよう
光射す場所 見えてくるさ
君の世界を 焼き付けてよ

sekai wa kimi no mono fookasu wo awasetara
kyokou mo shinjitsu mo nani mo kamo tojikome
kaze wo (motto) kitte (tooku) kakenukeyou
hikari sasu basho miete kuru sa
kimi no sekai wo yakitsukete yo

The world is yours! When my focus is lined up,
I’ll keep everything, fiction and reality, on file!
I’ll cut through the wind, even faster, and race through!
I can see that shining place…
I’ll burn your world into my memories.

私を喰らわば花まで喰らいつくしてよ || If You’re Gonna Eat Me, then Eat Me, Flowers and All!

Rockin私を喰らわば花まで喰らいつくしてよ
watashi wo kurawaba hana made kurai tsukishite yo
If You’re Gonna Eat Me, then Eat Me, Flowers and All!

Vocals: 96
Lyrics: Mamiya Miyane (麻宮ミヤネ)
Arranged by: void
Album: ROCKIN’ON TOUHOU VOL.4 【Official Site】
Published by: IOSYS
Event: Reitaisai 12 (RTS12)
Original Theme: Poison Body ~ Forsaken Doll [ポイズンボディ ~ Forsaken Doll]

Requested by: That DoujinGoro

These lyrics are quite fun, yet also very confusing at the same time. It seems like Medicine’s the sort of person (doll?) who just can’t make up her mind…

Also, massive thanks to Kafka-Fuura for passing on the lyrics to me! I really appreciate it 🙂

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

あっ 嫌いよ嫌いよ嫌いよ!
きっと 愛してくれたら嫌いになっちゃった
え いやもう、あのその、これもう、えっと
嫌いの反対 2秒で知っちゃった

a kirai yo kirai yo kirai yo!
kitto aishite kuretara kirai ni nacchatta
e iya mou, ano sono, kore mou, etto
kirai no hantai nibyou de shicchatta

Ah, I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
For sure, when you loved me, I ended up hating you!
Er, no, um… that is… you see… um…
The opposite of hate – I knew it in two seconds!

魔法の呪文はコンパロコンパロ
頭の中身はお花畑

mahou no jumon wa konparo konparo
atama no nakami wa o-hanabatake

My magic spell goes ‘konparo konparo!’ [1]
Inside my head lies a field of flowers.

つくりものだけど わたし
作り変えてよ かわいく
察してよ 嫌いだからこそ好きなんだから
きみだけのフィギュアになって
壊れるほど愛されて きみのこと憎みたいな!

tsukurimono dakedo watashi
tsukuri kaete yo kawaiku
sasshite yo kirai dakara koso suki nan da kara
kimi dake no figyua ni natte
kowareru hodo aisarete kimi no koto nikumitai na!

I’m just an artificial being,
But remake me! Prettily!
Sympathise with me, because I hate you, I love you!
I’ll become a figurine, just for you.
I wanna be loved so much I break – I wanna loathe you!

あっ 好きなの好きなの好きなの!
きっと 嫌いになれたら愛を誓っちゃった
え~媚び媚び脳内リプライ
@あなたの返信 すぐに止まっちゃった

a suki na no suki na no suki na no!
kitto kirai ni naretara ai wo chikacchatta
e~ kobikobi nounai ripurai
@anata no henshin sugu ni tomacchatta

Ah, I love you! I love you! I love you!
For sure, when I started hating you, I took a vow of love!
Er… my flattered brain’s reply
@ your reply – it stopped straight away!

花占いとか試してみたけど
「好きなの」「嫌いよ」 手癖で変わるし

hana uranai toka tameshite mita kedo
“suki na no” “kirai yo” tekuse de kawaru shi

I tried my hand at flower fortune telling, but…
“I love him?” “I hate him!” I’ve got sticky fingers, so it changes.

人形ごっこでコンパロコンパロ
あなたの理想でいてあげるね

ningyou gokko de konparo konparo
anata no risou de ite ageru ne

I play at being a doll: ‘konparo konparo!’
Just for you, I’ll exist in your ideal world…

罪作りだけど、わたし
ふたばの葉っぱ燃やして
私を喰らわば花まで喰らいつくしてよ

tsumidzukuri dakedo, watashi
futaba no happa moyashite
watashi wo kurawaba hana made kurai tsukishite yo

I’m so sinful, though…
I burn the leaves of those buds.
If you’re gonna eat me, then eat me, flowers and all!

気持ち悪いほどガール 嫌いになりたいドール
察してよ 好き嫌いだけじゃつまらないでしょ?
きみだけのフィギュアになって
壊れるほど愛されて きみのこと憎みたいな!

kimochi warui hodo gaaru kirai ni naritai dooru
sasshite yo suki kirai dake ja tsumaranai desho?
kimi dake no figyua ni natte
kowareru hodo aisarete kimi no koto nikumitai na!

I’m a girl, so much so it makes me sick. I’m a doll, who wants to hate you.
Sympathise with me – likes and dislikes by themselves are boring, right?
I’ll become a figurine, just for you.
I wanna be loved so much I break – I wanna loathe you!

_ _ _ _ _

[1] ‘Konparo konparo’ [コンパロコンパロ] is a phrase associated with Medicine, as she says it in her ending in PoFV. It is apparently a mistranslation of ‘convalloside,’ a type of poison found in lily-of-the-valley flowers.

Close

Nothing but the Touhou EDMClose

Vocals: Aikapin
Lyrics: Omi Oruha (オミ織葉)
Arranged by: uno
Album: Nothing but the TOHO EDM
Circle: IOSYS
Event: Touhou Meikasai 8
Original Theme: Septette for a Dead Princess (亡き王女の為のセプテット)

Requested by: Sleep

This song is apparently a parody of ‘Clarity,’ by Zedd feat. Foxes. It seems to be about unrequited love – the speaker tries her hardest to get the one she loves to reciprocate her feelings, but he doesn’t. Or does he? I guess that’s the question…

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

曖昧な関係に 疲れ果て
少しづつ 少しづつ 零れていく
綻んだ蜘蛛の糸 手繰り寄せ
つないでも つないでも 結べない

aimai na kankei ni tsukarehate
sukoshidzutsu sukoshidzutsu koboreteiku
hokoronda kumo no ito taguriyose
tsunaide mo tsunaide mo musubenai

I’m exhausted with this vague relationship.
Little by little, my tears spill out.
I pull in that spider’s thread, which has come apart.
Though I try, though I try, I can’t tie us together.

どうしても苦しいなら吐き出してしまえばいい
永遠に止むことない雨なんてないのだから

dou shite mo kurushii nara hakidashite shimaeba ii
eien ni yamu koto nai ame nante nai no dakara

If it’s going to hurt no matter what, I should just say everything that’s on my mind.
Because there’s no such thing as rain that lasts forever…

今は気づかない 振りをするよ
忘れさられる その時まで

ima wa kidzukanai furi wo suru yo
wasuresarareu sono toki made

For now, I shall pretend that I am unaware.
Until you forget about me…

そばにいる理由 見つけるまで
あなたのことを 追い続ける

soba ni iru riyuu mitsukeru made
anata no koto wo oitsudzukeru

Until you find a reason for being by my side,
I shall continue to chase after you.

囚われた籠の鳥 解き放ち
遠くへと 遠くへと 飛び立つの
欲望の深い闇 落ちていく
溺れても 溺れても 救われた

torowareta kago no tori tokihanachi
tooku he to tooku he to tobitatsu no
yokubou no fukai yami ochite iku
oborete mo oborete mo sukuwareta

I’m a bird locked in a cage. Release me,
And I’ll take off far away, far away…
I fall into a deep darkness of desire.
Though I drown, though I drown, I was saved.

泣いている私にただ手を引いてくれたあなた
この世界終わるまではいつまでもそばにいるの

naiteiru watashi ni tada te wo hiite kureta anata
kono sekai owaru made wa itsu made mo soba ni iru no

You still took my hand as I was crying.
I’ll stay with you always, until the world ends.

忘れてしまう その時まで
見えない絆 紡ぎながら

wasurete shimau sono toki made
mienai kizuna tsumugi nagara

Until you forget about me,
I shall weave our unseen bonds.

生きている意味 わかるまでは
あなたのことを 見守るから

ikiteiru imi wakaru made wa
anata no koto wo mimamoru kara

Until you understand why you’re alive,
I shall watch over you.

美味ットゲッター || Delicious Guetta

Nothing but the Touhou EDM美味ットゲッター
bimitto gettaa
Delicious Guetta

Vocals: Asana (あさな)
Lyrics: Lettuce Shichijou (七条レタス)
Arranged by: D.Watt
Album: Nothing but the TOHO EDM
Circle: IOSYS
Event: Touhou Meikasai 8
Original Theme: Emotional Skyscraper ~ Cosmic Mind (感情の摩天楼 ~ Cosmic Mind)

Requested by: Sleep

According to the Touhou Wiki, this song is a parody of ‘Turn Me On’ by David Guetta and Nicki Minaj.

I translated this before listening to it, and I was absolutely shocked when I actually heard it. Asana somehow has the ability to make even these sorts of lyrics sound serious… As for the title, it parodies David Guetta’s name (turning it into ‘bimitto gettaa’ or ‘Delicious Guetta’). In true Japanese style, they also play with his surname, turning it into the English word ‘Get’ throughout the song. This style of wordplay isn’t for everyone, but it’s quite clever.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

食べログ見て 入念リサーチ
予約済みにて 入店サクセス
美味いもん食って 美味いもんゲット 美味いもんLovin’
美味いもん食えたら ごちそうさん

taberogu mite nyuunen risaachi
yoyaku zumi ni te nyuuten sakusesu
umai mon kutte umai mon getto umai mon Lovin’
umai mon kuetara gochisousan

I looked at it on Tabelog, and I carefully researched it. (1)
I made reservations, and I entered – success!
I eat tasty things, I get tasty things, and I’m lovin’ tasty things.
When I eat tasty things, it’s a feast!

もうこれ何食ってもいいぞ〜 ヤバ美味いし
体重もヤバいぞ 大ピンチ
こちらのお店も…おお営業中 ちょ、誰か助けて〜
(美味いものを前にして)おおおお…!

mou kore nani kuttemo ii zo~ yaba umai shi
taijuu mo yabaizo dai pinchi
kochira no o-mise mo… oo eigyouchuu cho, dareka tasukete~
(umai mono o mae ni shi te) oooo…!

Hey, what’s this? Can I eat it~? It’s so good!
But it’s no good for my figure – what a crisis!
And this shop… ooh! It’s open, too! Wait – someone, save me~
(Someone put delicious things in front of me) Oooooh…!

おラーメン ウニや カニも食べよう
刺身 ジンギスカン カレーも食べよう
美味しそう 海鮮丼 寿司も食べよう
食べよう 食べよう 食べよう もっと食べよう

o-raamen uni ya kani mo tabeyou
sashimi jingisukan karee mo tabeyou
oishisou kaisendon sushi mo tabeyou
tabeyou tabeyou tabeyou motto tabeyou

I’ll eat ramen, sea urchin eggs, and crabs as well!
I’ll eat sashimi, grilled mutton, and curry, too!
It looks great! I’ll eat a seafood bowl and sushi as well.
Let’s eat! Let’s eat! Let’s eat! Let’s eat even more!

おラーメン ウニや カニも食べよう
刺身 ジンギスカン カレーも食べよう
美味しそう 海鮮丼 寿司も食べよう
食べよう 食べよう 食べよう もっと食べよう

o-raamen uni ya kani mo tabeyou
sashimi jingisukan karee mo tabeyou
oishisou kaisendon sushi mo tabeyou
tabeyou tabeyou tabeyou motto tabeyou

I’ll eat ramen, sea urchin eggs, and crabs as well!
I’ll eat sashimi, grilled mutton, and curry, too!
It looks great! I’ll eat a seafood bowl and sushi as well.
Let’s eat! Let’s eat! Let’s eat! Let’s eat even more!

お腹がすいて ランチ探し街へ
昼間っからシーのスー 回っててもマイのウー

onaka ga suite ranchi sagashi machi he
hirumakkara shii no suu mawatte temo mai no uu

I’m starving, so I head out on the street, looking for lunch.
From midday, ushisay; even as it revolves, it’s astytay! (2)

もうこれなんぼでも食うぞ〜 物価安いし
胃薬がないぞ 大ピンチ
こちらの薬局は…おお休業中 ちょ、まじで勘弁〜
(しんど過ぎて)おおおお…!

mou kore nanbo demo kuu zo~ bukka yasui shi
igusuri ga nai zo dai pinchi
kochira no yakkyoku wa… ou kyuugyouchuu cho, maji de kanben~
(shindo sugi te) oooo…!

Hey, how many of these can I eat~? They’re so cheap!
But I don’t have any stomach medicine – what a crisis!
And this chemist… ooh! It’s closed. Wait – seriously? “Please forgive us”~
(I’m too tired) Oooooh…!

おラーメン ウニや カニも食べよう
刺身 ジンギスカン カレーも食べよう
美味しそう 海鮮丼 寿司も食べよう
食べよう 食べよう 食べよう もっと食べよう

o-raamen uni ya kani mo tabeyou
sashimi jingisukan karee mo tabeyou
oishisou kaisendon sushi mo tabeyou
tabeyou tabeyou tabeyou motto tabeyou

I’ll eat ramen, sea urchin eggs, and crabs as well!
I’ll eat sashimi, grilled mutton, and curry, too!
It looks great! I’ll eat a seafood bowl and sushi as well.
Let’s eat! Let’s eat! Let’s eat! Let’s eat even more!

おラーメン ウニや カニも食べよう
刺身 ジンギスカン カレーも食べよう
美味しそう 海鮮丼 寿司も食べよう
食べよう 食べよう 食べよう もっと食べよう

o-raamen uni ya kani mo tabeyou
sashimi jingisukan karee mo tabeyou
oishisou kaisendon sushi mo tabeyou
tabeyou tabeyou tabeyou motto tabeyou

I’ll eat ramen, sea urchin eggs, and crabs as well!
I’ll eat sashimi, grilled mutton, and curry, too!
It looks great! I’ll eat a seafood bowl and sushi as well.
Let’s eat! Let’s eat! Let’s eat! Let’s eat even more!

羽田から2時間弱で ユートピアは実在した

haneda kara nijikan jaku de yuutopia wa jitsuzai shita

Utopia came into reality, just under 2 hours from Haneda airport.

ビービビビビール飲んで 温泉入っていい気分
温泉入って飯食って 朝も早よからビール飲んで
うううううううまい!
マイネームイズ 美味ットゲッター

Biibibibibiiru nonde onsen haitte ii kibun
onsen haitte meshi kutte asa mo hayayo kara biiru nonde
u-u-u-u-u-u-umai!
mai neemu izu bimitto gettaa

I-i-i-i-it feels good when you drink some beer and get in the hot springs!
I’ll get in and eat something. Morning will come all too soon, so I’ll have some beer, too.
D-d-d-d-d-d-delicious!
My name is Delicious Guetta!

おラーメン ウニや カニも食べよう
刺身 ジンギスカン カレーも食べよう
美味しそう 海鮮丼 寿司も食べよう
食べよう 食べよう 食べよう もっと食べよう

o-raamen uni ya kani mo tabeyou
sashimi jingisukan karee mo tabeyou
oishisou kaisendon sushi mo tabeyou
tabeyou tabeyou tabeyou motto tabeyou

I’ll eat ramen, sea urchin eggs, and crabs as well!
I’ll eat sashimi, grilled mutton, and curry, too!
It looks great! I’ll eat a seafood bowl and sushi as well.
Let’s eat! Let’s eat! Let’s eat! Let’s eat even more!

_ _ _ _ _

(1) ‘Tabelog’ (食べログ) is a website that lists the details of all of the restaurants in Japan.
(2) This sentence is written in ‘Zuuja-go’ (ズージャ語), a type of Japanese Pig Latin. These small portions literally mean ‘The su of shi’ and ‘the ta of sty.’ I went with Pig Latin in my translation to make it sound more natural.

リトルストーリー || Little Story

ROCKIN'ONリトルストーリー
ritoru sutoorii
Little Story

Vocals: void
Lyrics: 96
Arranged by: void
Album: ROCKIN’ON TOUHOU VOL.1
Circle: IOSYS
Event: C83
Original Themes: –Shanghai Alice of Meiji 17 [明治十七年の上海アリス]
Shanghai Teahouse ~ Chinese Tea [上海紅茶館 ~ Chinese Tea]

Requested by: Mekouchii
Subtitled video courtesy of Nii Chii:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bBAALbMqysM

A charming, straightforward song. For a change, the protagonist is a guy…

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

階段を降りた先にある部屋
少女が独り過ごす 広く寂しいだけの場所

kaidan wo orita saki ni aru heya
shoujo ga hitori sugosu hiroku sabishii dake no basho

That girl spends her days alone in a room
Just after the bottom of the stairs. It’s a place of only vast loneliness.

こっちへおいで
僕は毎日 声をかけた
会いたくて

kocchi he oide
boku wa mainichi  koe wo kaketa
aitakute

 “Come over here…”
Every day, I called out to her.
“I want to meet you…”

いくら呼んでも出てこない 本当は君の手をとって
色んな場所行きたいよ 色んな表情見せてよ
世界が怖いと言うなら 必ず僕が守るから
離れないでついてきて その覚悟はあるんだ

ikura yondemo detekonai hontou wa kimi no te wo totte
ironna basho ikitai yo ironna kao misete yo
soto ga kowai to iu nara kanarazu boku ga mamoru kara
hanarenai de tsuite kite sono kakugo wa arun da

No matter how many times I called, you didn’t come out. I want to take your hand
And go to a whole bunch of places with you. I want you to show me your different expressions…
If you say the outside world is scary, I’ll definitely protect you.
So don’t be apart from me – come with me. That’s the resolution I have.

「私はね、周りのもの全てを傷つけちゃうの
だからここにいるよ、ずっと
でもね…」

“watashi wa ne, mawari no mono subete wo kizutsukechau no
dakara koko ni iru yo, zutto
demo ne…”

“You know, I end up hurting everything around me.
That’s why I’m here, always.
But…”

君は泣いた 大きな声で
それが君の本音だろ?

kimi wa naita ooki na koe de
sore ga kimi no honne daro?

You said that in a loud voice as you cried.
I wonder if that was what you really thought…

悲しい歌は聞き飽きた そう思ってドアを蹴破った
きっと後で叱られる かまうもんか 叫んだ
部屋の隅でうずくまる 小さな背中を抱きしめて
笑いながら泣いたんだ 君は”居る”さ 確かに

kanashii uta wa kiki akita sou omotte doa wo keyabutta
kitto ato de shikarareru kamau mon ka sakenda
heya no sumi de uzukumaru chisana senaka wo dakishimete
warai nagara naitan da kimi wa “iru” sa tashika ni

I’m tired of listening to sad songs. I thought that and smashed through the door.
I’ll definitely be scolded later – “Like I care!” I shouted.
You were crouched in the corner of that room. I hugged your small figure close,
And whilst smiling, you cried. Surely, you were ‘there.’

君にいつか見せたい 鮮やかな虹

kimi ni itsuka misetai azayaka na niji

There’s a vibrant rainbow that I want to show you someday…

鍵なら壊しておいた 二度と悲しまないように
背中の羽広げれば どこにだって行けるさ
「ありがとう」って君が言う 救われたのは僕の方さ
君の笑顔見られたら それだけでもう十分だ

kagi nara kowashite oita nido to kanashimanai you ni
senaka no hane hirogereba doko ni datte ikeru sa
“arigatou” tte kimi ga iu sukuwareta no wa boku no hou sa
kimi no egao miraretara sore dake de mou juubun da

As for your key… I destroyed it, so you won’t be sad again.
After all, if you spread your wings, you can go anywhere.
Though you said “thank you,” the one who was saved was me.
When I can see your smiling face, just that is enough for me.

天狗アイドル撮影会 ~Shoot the Dog Ear!! in 4F 小会議室 || Tengu Idol Photo Event ~ Shoot the Dog Ear!! in the 4th Floor’s Small Conference Room

Crystallised天狗アイドル撮影会 ~Shoot the Dog Ear!! in 4F 小会議室
tengu aidoru satsueikai ~Shoot the Dog Ear!! in 4F shoukaigishitsu
Tengu Idol Photo Event ~ Shoot the Dog Ear!! in the 4th Floor’s Small Conference Room

Vocals: Ayumi (野宮あゆみ)
Lyrics: Yoshimi (夕野ヨシミ)
Arranged by: void (ぼいど)
Album: Toho Crystallized Ocean (東方銀晶天獄)
Circle: IOSYS
Event: Reitaisai 7
Original Theme: Wind God Girl (風神少女)

Requested by: Bagong016

Once again, I find myself feeling that my translation ‘voice’ is a bit too… formal for these sorts of songs. Also, I know there are a few talking sections, but the song was kind of weirding me out, so I didn’t really want to dig deeper and transcribe them. Sorry. From what I could gather, Aya does something lewd, so Momiji and the fans kick her out. Despite the fact that lewd stuff is already going on. But whatever…

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

ああ 夢のステージ 記念コスプレライブ撮影会
ああ 狭い会場 心汗ばむほどの一体感

aa yume no suteeji kinen kosupure raibu satsueikai
aa semai kaijou kokoro asebamu hodo no ittaikan

Aah, it’s the stage of dreams – the Commemorative Cosplay Live Photo Event!
Aah, in this narrow hall, I feel a sense of unity so strong it makes my heart sweat!

ほら ギリギリ露出のローアングル
チラリ見えて 最前列まで殺到限界
危険に響くはシャッター音 キャーッ!

hora giri giri roshutsu no rooanguru
chirari miete saizenretsu made sattou genkai
kiken ni hibiku wa shattaa oto kya!

Look! That low angle’s at the limits of photographic exposure…
You can just barely see it. There’s a flood of people up to the very front row.
The sounds of the shutters resound perilously. Eek!

歌え踊れ花開け 天狗アイドル
輝く笑顔は 萌えてカメラのフラッシュよりまぶしく

utae odore hanahirake tengu aidoru
kagayaku egao wa moete kamera no furasshu yori mabushiku

The tengu idol sings, dances and blossoms.
Her shining smile buds, brighter than the flash of the cameras.

ああ 気持ち良くなれ 視線熱く絡まる撮影会
ああ のぼせてクラリ わたし一皮むけて超大胆

aa kimochi yoku nare shisen atsuku karamaru satsueikai
aa nobosete kurari watashi hitokawamukete chou daitan

Aah, my mood’s improved. Gazes are passionately entwined at this photo event.
Aah, the blood rushes to my head, and I feel dizzy. I take my mask off, and I’m super-daring!

ほら そのままはだけて
もう少し脱いでみようか 綺麗に残そう若いうちだよ
そんなセリフで口説こうとしても ダメーッ!

hora sono mama hadakete
mou sukoshi nuide miyou ka kirei ni nokosou wakai uchi da yo
sonna serifu de kudokou to shite mo dame!

Look! As I am now, I expose myself…
Shall I take another item of clothing off? “Why not preserve yourself, in all your beauty – you’re still young!”
Even if you try and persuade me with words like that… no way!

激写されて興奮の 天狗アイドル
強引なダイブ よだれこぼれてクラッシュしてキラキラ

gekisha sarete koufun no tengu aidoru
gouin na daibu yodare koborete kurasshu shite kira kira

The tengu idol’s all excited after having had a spectacular photo taken.
She makes an overbearing dive. They all drool as she crashes and sparkles…

まだ 足りない どうしてもみんなの愛が欲しい
一緒にいれたら 寂しくないから
ありがとうー! 愛してるー! みんなー!

mada tarinai dou shite mo minna no ai ga hoshii
issho ni iretara sabishiku nai kara
arigatou! aishiteru! minna!

Still, it’s not enough! I want everyone’s love, at all costs!
When we’re together, I’m not alone, so…
Thanks! I love you! All of you!

歌え踊れ花開け 天狗アイドル
輝く笑顔は 萌えてカメラのフラッシュよりまぶしく
クラッシュしてキラキラ フィニッシュだよラブラブ
レッツフライハイ イェー

utae odore hanahirake tengu aidoru
kagayaku egao wa moete kamera no furasshu yori mabushiku
kurasshu shite kira kira finisshu da yo rabu rabu
rettsu furai hai iee

The tengu idol sings, dances and blossoms.
Her shining smile buds, brighter than the flash of the cameras.
I crash, and sparkle! It’s the finish – I’m all lovey-dovey!
Let’s fly high! Yay!

クオリア || Qualia

ROCKIN'ONクオリア
kuoria
Qualia

Vocals: ichigo
Lyrics: 96
Arranged by: void
Album: ROCKIN’ON TOUHOU VOL.1
Circle: IOSYS
Event: C83
Original Themes: –U.N. Owen was Her? [U.N.オーエンは彼女なのか?]
The Centennial Festival for Magical Girls [魔法少女達の百年祭]

Requested by: Mekouchii
Subtitled video courtesy of Nii Chii:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8xCUW_yjeY

A quick note regarding the title: ‘Qualia’ relates to ‘what it’s like’ to experience something, like looking at a colour. At least, that ‘s what my research told me…

I get the feeling that this song is about a girl who’s in a relationship with someone who doesn’t care about her. There appears to be superficiality on both ends; the ‘kindness’ and ‘smiling face’ appear to be fake, so the ‘happiness’ they feel is fake as well.

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

冷たい風が頬を掠めた
枯葉を攫う刺す様な空気は嫌いじゃないのさ
温もりを確かめ合える

tsumetai kaze ga hoho wo kasumeta
kareha wo sarau sasu you na kuuki wa kirai ja nai no sa
nukumori wo tashikameaeru

The cold wind skimmed against my cheek.
It’s a sort of atmosphere where dead leaves are carried off and stabbed into me, but I don’t hate it. (1)
I can make certain of this warmth…

煩い声が歪つに響く
慥かな欠如 凡ては執着へ
厭な情動が液晶塞いでゆくよ

urusai koe ga ibitsu ni hibiku
tashika na ketsujo subete wa shuuchaku e
iya na joudou ga disupurei fusaideyuku yo

The noisy voices echo around, distortedly.
There’s a definite deficiency – everything heads towards attachment.
My disagreeable emotions are going to cover the display… (2)

嗚呼 複雑に捩れて絡まってしまう私を
何時も温かい其の手が解いてゆくわ
そう 私は其の度に
取り分け貴方の優しさ感じては
幸せを想うの

aa fukuzatsu ni nejirete karamatteshimau watashi wo
itsumo atatakai sono te ga hodoiteyuku wa
sou watashi wa sono tabi ni
toriwake anata no yasashisa kanjite wa
shiawase wo omou no

Aah, I, who ended up being complexly twisted up and intertwined,
Am always untied by those warm hands…
Yes, each time it happens,
I feel your kindness in particular,
And I think that I am happy…

足を揃えて踏むレンガ道
悠寛進む肌寒い喪失
求めているのは明瞭と咎める仕草

ashi wo soroete fumu renga michi
yukkuri susumu hadazamui soushitsu
motometeiru no wa hakkiri to togameru shigusa

I march in time on this brick road.
As I advance gently, I feel an unpleasantly chilly loss.
The thing I’m searching for is clarity, and blameful actions…

嗚呼 小賢しい詭弁は此の際見て見ぬ振りして
明日も柔らかいその手に充たされるから
そう 貴方は其の度に
取り分け私の笑顔を眺めては
幸せを想うのさ

aa kozakashii kiben wa kono sai mite minu furi shite
asu mo yawarakai sono te ni mitasareru kara
sou anata wa sono tabi ni
toriwake watashi no egao wo nagamete wa
shiawase wo omou no sa

Aah, this time, I turn a blind eye to your shrewd wordplay,
Because tomorrow, too, I will be satisfied by your tender hands…
Yes, each time it happens,
You gaze upon my smiling face in particular,
And you think that you are happy…

嗚呼 複雑に捩れて絡まってしまう私を
何時も温かい其の手が解いてゆくわ
そう 私は其の度に
取り分け貴方の優しさ感じては
幸せを想うから

aa fukuzatsu ni nejirete karamatteshimau watashi wo
itsumo atatakai sono te ga hodoiteyuku wa
sou watashi wa sono tabi ni
toriwake anata no yasashisa kanjite wa
shiawase wo omou kara

Aah, I, who ended up being complexly twisted up and intertwined,
Am always untied by those warm hands…
Yes, each time it happens,
I feel your kindness in particular,
And I think that I am happy…

瞬間を掴まえて!

shunkan wo tsukamete!

Seize the moment!

_ _ _ _ _

(1) I interpreted this line a bit – my original translation of it [‘I don’t hate this atmosphere, which is like carrying off and stabbing the dead leaves’] sounded a bit stilted, so I changed it. I get the feeling that the speaker is walking outside in winter – though the wind blows leaves into her, she doesn’t hate it, because she feels her inner warmth.
(2) ‘LCD’ (Liquid Crystal Display) is written, but the only thing said is ‘display’.’

サードアイや! || Third Eyer!

Nothing but the Touhou EDMサードアイや!
saado aiya!
Third Eyer!

Vocals: Koko (ココ)
Lyrics: 七条レタス
Arranged by: かめりあ
Album: Nothing but the TOHO EDM
Circle: IOSYS
Event: Touhou Meikasai 8
Original Theme: Satori Maiden ~ 3rd Eye (少女さとり ~ 3rd eye)

Requested by: Kappashiro

Subtitled video courtesy of Kappashiro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nRPx1nKk69w

There aren’t any words to describe this. I don’t… even know what to say.

Anyway, as I’m sure a lot of you already know, this track is a parody of Knife Party’s ‘Bonfire,’ [hence Third Eyer] though the lyrics aren’t related. Also, the song doesn’t necessarily follow the structure of these lyrics, so make sure you listen carefully!

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

見える見えるやでクラウドのハート
ワイDJの前に揺らぐこのガード
選曲ツボる打率まず100パーの

mieru mieru ya de kuraudo no haato
wai DJ no mae ni yuragu kono gaado
senkyoku tsuboru daritsu mazu 100 paa no

She can see it – She can see it! The crowd’s heart…
The one swaying in front of DJ Y is this guard.
She hits the bullseye with her song choices 100% of the time.

「サササササ、サードアイや…!」
ファッ!? ていうあの能力プレイに応用

「sa sa sa sa sa, saado aiya…!」
faa!? te iu ano nouryoku purei ni ouyou

“Th-Th-Th-Th-Th, Third Eyer…!”
Fu-!? Put that ability to use when you play!

ナイスパーティ草不可避って
そら(フロアの心を読んでお客さんが待望のトラックばっか狙ってかけてんだから)
そう(お客さんあがる)よ
シャンパンもじゃんじゃん入れて開栓して、どうぞ

naisu paati kusa fukahi tte
sora (furoa no kokoro wo yonde okyakusan ga taibou no torakku bakka neratte kaketen da kara)
sou (okyakusan agaru) yo
shanpan mo janjan irete kaisen shite, douzo

They say there’s no escaping that nice party grass.
Look! (It’s ‘cause she reads the hearts of the people on the floor – she always aims for the tracks they want) (1)
Yeah, (So the customers keep on coming) that’s right!
Champagne and clang-clang – put them together, uncork it, and there you go!

「サササササ、サードアイや…!」

「sa sa sa sa sa, saado aiya…!」

“Th-Th-Th-Th-Th, Third Eyer…!”

見える見えるやでクラウドのハート
ワイDJの前に揺らぐこのガード
アカン曲すぐに切り替えていく

mieru mieru ya de kuraudo no haato
wai DJ no mae ni yuragu kono gaado
akan kyoku sugu ni kirikaeteiku

She can see it – She can see it! The crowd’s heart…
The one swaying in front of DJ Y is this guard.
She changes the track straight away if it’s a dud.

_ _ _ _ _

(1) The bracketed parts aren’t sung. They don’t appear in the song at all, which makes me wonder why they’re there at all. If you want, you can just disregard them. Perhaps they’re meant to indicate thoughts?